India For Dummies: Tips for First-Timers

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Parent Category: Travel Info

Category: Travel Feature

Published on Friday, 25 February 2011 21:18

Written by Caroline Martin

Calling all India virgins!

Last summer’s release of the film Eat Pray Love (or is it Eat Love Pray? I can never remember) guaranteed that India is once again flooded with foreigners “finding themselves.”  In contrast to the 1970s, when the seekers were long-haired backpackers, the newcomers are now manicured suburban divorcees hoping to meet Javier Bardem in a rice paddy.

Lonely Planet has a message board (“The Thorn Tree”) full of hilarious questions from India first-timers.

Some examples:

"Can I get a Starbucks Chai Latte in India?"

"Would it be safe to be seen reading a Salman Rushdie's Satanic Verses book on an Indian train?"

I am tempted to write back and say, "Yes, if you are seen reading or even known to own a copy of Rushdie's book, any devout religionist within eyeshot will slit your throat instantly," but I’m afraid they’d take me seriously.

Every year, thousands of India first-timers, most of them college age gap-year kids, head off on the Great Journey. Most of them have visions of either a mystical incense-laden land with sitar music emanating from the banyan trees, or a seething horde of scheming, sweating humanity. The reality, of course, lies somewhere in between.

As an India veteran (also a Manhattan veteran; I specialize in living in improbable places), I would suggest:

1) Read up before you go.

Particularly good is Culture Shock: India by Gitanjali Kolanad, Rough Guide’s latest India edition, and Lonely Planet's Healthy Travel: Asia & India.

Personally, I read everything I could get my hands on: travelogues, history, culture and customs. It will add dimension to your travels, explain many strange things you'll see, and enable you to better relate to and understand people you meet along the way.  

That brings us to suggestion number two, possibly the most challenging of all:

2) Get to know the people.

Foreigners travel to India in search of history, exotica, cool clothes, and culture, and are surprised to find that India is really all about the people. Believe me, there's no avoiding them, so brush up on your small talk!

3) Forget your romantic notions of spiritual India.

It is the most materialistic place on earth, in some ways for good reason (see below) –- also, the most interesting. After India, everywhere else in Asia, and perhaps the world outside of Baghdad, will be a piece of cake. (See #6 and #8)

4) Be cautious about exchanges of money – rather than fearful of violent crimes.

While all visitors must find their India comfort zone, we are largely shielded by privilege from violent crime.   Rather, most every foreign visitor falls prey to a scam or con game – from petty to large-scale – at some point.  This is all part of the India Experience.  Author Gitanajali Kolanad insists that you be especially alert “at any time money is displayed or changes hands.”  

But there is little outright danger for foreign tourists –- rather, Indian is madcap, maniacally energetic, and endlessly amusing.

5) Learn some of the local language.

Even your mistakes will thrill people to no end and if nothing else, it will show them you're not the average stupid tourist.  The fellows at the local chai shop will be delighted to assist you in learning a few key phrases (“I don’t want any,” “how much?,” “your price is too high” and “leave me alone” being especially useful).  

6) Wear traditional clothes, especially for women.

This means, in most cases, a Punjabi suit (aka salwar-kameez or churidar, the long baggy pyjama pants, long tunic top and accompanying scarf draped over the chest). I cannot stress this enough. Ladies, do not wear your hair down, especially blondes.

Loose hair is a sign of a loose woman in many places, and if you are a foreign woman, you are doubly suspect and are, in local custom, asking for harassment. (unless you're in Mumbai, then no one cares.)

If you’re in a more modern place or feel corny going in full Indian drag, do a hybrid of baggy western pants and long-sleeved t-shirts. You and everyone around you will feel more comfortable.

Additionally, if you plan to stay longer-term and have respectful relationships with any locals, particularly of an elder generation, don't dress like a hippy. Indians have vivid memories of the first big wave of 60s and 70s tourists, and few of those memories are positive. Also, any time you have to deal with any person in an office or member of law enforcement, it pays to clean up.  

7) A few words about bargaining/haggling: Outside of large supermarkets, very few prices are set or “fixed.”

Most Asians have bargaining down to an art form. It is part of the culture, particularly among merchant groups such as Marwadis and  Kashmiris. It is an art form you will never master, but must become decent at in order to have any money left by the end of your trip.

Remember, bargaining is just the normal way here - they do it with locals as well. The difference is, locals know the game. Learn the game and see it as a game. Do not feel guilty about not paying 'enough.' Believe me, they will never let you get away without their having made some profit. Since you don't know the rates, you don't realize this.

Also, don’t get upset.  When a driver suggests 200Rs for an 80Rs ride, he's just negotiating. He is doing his job. It is your job to counter with half or less of the original amount. He expects this and is not offended by it! From his point of view, he may not get such a good fare the rest of the day. If he can make a day's wages in one go, why not?

Why are there so few “fixed prices” in India? There is little social mobility and few chances for "getting ahead" in India's rigid, slowly changing social structure. The only way around it sometimes is to "cheat," or as many Indians would say, be "clever." Fair play has never gotten the average Indian very far, so they often resort to these things. Don't get righteous, just hold your ground and keep smiling.

Remember that to many “average” Indians (shopkeepers, drivers) you meet on the street, you are a walking bank.  If you keep this in mind without resentment - regardless of how 'nice' anyone is - you will fare much better in India.

8) Do not get involved in drugs, or hang around people who do. Period.

This is one good way to get in trouble, fast.

9) Keep a sense of humor, and do not lose your cool.

You will invariably fail at this endeavor.... but keep it as your goal. Keep smiling and repeat your requests – patiently. It’s the Indian way.

10) Do not display affection openly with your boy/girlfriend. Don't even hold hands.

This is considered a slap in the face outside of such foreigner enclaves as Goa or Mumbai.

11) Don't bother asking for food with "no spice."

Few Indians know how to cook this way, and consider food without hot spices unpalatable –- they would feel cheated without the addition of “mirchi.”  It works better to say “no green chili,” “only salt,” or “mirchi nahi chayyie.”

12) Get a receipt for everything, absolutely everything, and hang onto it till you’re sure you don’t need it.

If you buy a museum ticket, be ready to show it at any time during your museum visit –- Indian officials love to get, well, officious about paperwork.

13) Understand the bathroom thing.

Yes, though toilet paper is increasingly popular with the middle class, most Indians still clean themselves after the toilet with their left hand and a cup of water. Often, soap is not involved. Most digestive diseases are transmitted fecal-to-oral. This, plus the scarcity of water and soap in many places, accounts for the fact that thousands annually still die of simple diarrhea.

Running water and hot water can be scarce outside larger cities. BYOTP (bring your own toilet paper – a small pack of paper tissues works well) and mini bar of soap, or even better, wet wipes.

14) Don’t fold your hands and say “Namaste.”

Nobody does that, and if someone does, it means they have earmarked you as a naïve foreigner.

15) Don’t try to prove points or make statements, whether with your behavior, dress or speech.

India is really not the place to “prove” that women are not property, or that all people are created equal.

Rather than attempt to “educate” someone, try observing the interactions around you and try to see things from another perspective, and you’ll find you are the one with lessons to learn.

And there’s no better place to learn than India. Have a great trip.

Caroline Martin is a writer, photographer & researcher based in New York City. She blogs at www.sirensongs.org and can be reached at www.carolinemartin.org.

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