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It’s a very old joke and it goes like this:
It’s 1964 and a guy goes into an art gallery. He sees what appears to be a blank canvas selling for an inordinate amount of money and is intrigued. He asks the lady at the desk why that was:
"It’s not a blank canvas; it’s a picture of a cow eating grass."
"Where’s the grass and where’s the cow?"
"Well the cow ate all the grass and moved on, so there’s nothing left."
So when the NY Armory Show (from March 4th to the 7th, 2010) and its 11 other attendant fairs including Pulse and Volta, were happening over the previous weekend, I decided to take a look for the “cows eating grass,” also known as White on White, Black on Black etc. as is my wont. I actually counted about five pieces, and about a dozen that were pretty damn close.
The most expensive of the bunch was Robert Irwin’s aptly named Untitled, which was a largish panel of honeycomb aluminum painted over with black lacquer and polyurethane. This cost between $10 and $20,000. Yup, dollars.
Then there was Tom Chandler’s Untitled, Gary Fabian’s Blue on Blue: Spring, which wasn’t exactly monochrome, but had a dark blue rectangle with a light blue interior. Close enough.
Then there’s Wall Drawing image #5 (white) by Jeff Keller. Keller drew a trapezoid on a canvas. This one goes for many thousands of dollars. It almost qualifies as a “Cow Eating Grass” painting because some one with no talent can go home and make an exact copy of this from memory.
The same goes for Thomas Müller’s C4RD #40, which was hiding among a ton of his other, more accomplished work, all of which was beautifully framed by his gallery. I asked if it was a set that had to be purchased as a whole, but I was told that each was a complete work of art.
This work of art consisted of two triangles badly drawn in pencil, or at least it looked that way. This was even worse than the yellow swastika I passed by as fast as I could. But the worst of the worst of the worst was the work of Michael Scoggins, who blows up loose-leaf binder paper and writes notes like “I’m not going to put up with your SHIT anymore!!” on it. This is supposed to be cute and costs somewhere in the 20,000 range.
There was lots of genuinely good artwork scattered among the dreck, but those artists or pieces aren’t actually as fun to write about. The arrogance of people like Müller and Keller, who think they can get away with this stuff -- not to mention the galleries, who pass over thousands of superior artists who can’t sell anything, in order to peddle what can only be described as a massive fraud -- is astounding.
The influence of cartooning on the art world in the nearly half century since art history ended cannot be overstated. A glance over the independent comix scene will show inept artwork which is redeemed by good writing and design. However some of these people were at the Armory show with just horrible drawings and meaningless captions.
Dutch artist Melle de Boer is one of those people. She and her gallery came from 4000 miles to embarrass themselves here. What were these people thinking? Last year, there was a lot of stuff by David Shrigley, who’s among the worst major artists of all time.
All art is subjective, but at least someone should be SOME standards, Jeez!
Sundance is over and that’s fine with me. I’ve been trying to recover for almost a week and I’m not sure that I have. I saw somewhere between 25 and 32 films (I’m not sure exactly) and after a week back home, I’m still a bit blurry.
While I was in the air on the way home, they announced the winners of the various awards. There have to be awards for some reason. But as to the Sundance winners, I didn’t see most of them, so I’m not going to give any commentary on those. It’s unseemly to pontificate on films I haven't seen, although that sort of thing is done all the time. But here’s what I've I did see.
The Grand Jury Prize: Documentary
Restrepo
directed by Sebastian Junger and Tim Hetherington
Junger and Hetherington spent a year dug in with the Second Platoon as they painfully push back the Taliban in one of Afghanistan's most strategically crucial valleys.
This is one of the most boring war documentaries ever. Nothing much happens. The men mostly dig holes. The Captain has a meeting with the local leadership. And there’s talk of bullets and bombs, but that’s it. The men were interviewed after their tour was over and while it should have bee interesting, it wasn’t. I slept through some of it.
The Grand Jury Prize: Dramatic
Winter's Bone
directed by Debra Granik
written by Granik and Anne Rosellini
Cast: Jennifer Lawrence, John Hawkes, Kevin Breznahan, Dale Dickey, Garret Dillahunt
Ree (Lawrence) lives in the Ozarks, the Dogpatch ghetto part of Missouri where the stereotypical Hillbilly lives. Everyone’s inbred and makes their living dealing drugs. Ree’s father, whom we never see, has abandoned his family and cooks crystal meth. Ree has to take care of her insane mother and two much younger siblings while living off the kindness of neighbors.
Then one day Sheriff Baskin (Dillahunt) comes around and tells her that Daddy jumped bail, and if he doesn’t show up, they’re going to take the house, which was put up as bond. Ree has to find him or else she’s going to wind up on the street. You see the law of the mountains is very much the same as the law of the street.
But Ree cares about her younger siblings and their fate, so she goes on a quest to find her father. Despite the fact that even her Uncle Teardrop (Hawkes) tells her not to fight it, she tries to solve the mystery of what happened to her pa. This is one of those bleak crime dramas that resembles a train wreck. You can’t take your eyes off it no matter how grim it is. Lawrence is terrific, and so is everyone else.
The Audience Award: DramaticOur hero has also fallen in lust with the beautiful waitress Mississippi (Mara), with whom he has a contract for a three day fling…. That’s right folks, it’s Seinfeld the Movie!, which means it’s completely about nothing, full of cute jokes and one or two insights about the meaning of life. It'ss entertaining in a sitcom kind of way, not that there’s anything wrong with that.
The thing won the award because Radnor, who’s been on a TV sitcom for years, knows the genre well and got himself a good cast. This will now give him the creds to do something more ambitious.
This film is about a convict (Richardson) on work release who somehow gets involved with a lunatic named Margo (Reeder), and soon the hijinks begin. Margo thinks her beau (Rannazzisi), is cheating on her or something like that.
The only reason this film comes even close to working is Reeder, who’s been on Broadway in dozens of plays and is absolutely wonderful. She’s the kind of person that has star quality all over her. I’m smitten. As for everybody else and the movie itself, eh.
The Directing Award: Documentary
Smash His Camera
directed by Leon Gast
Much has been done about Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, the former First Lady and international celebrity. Not much has been done about her nemesis, famous celebrity photographer and original paparazzo, Ron Galella.
Gast and Gallella have a blast making this film. The photographer is followed around by cinematographers as he goes around his daily grind and shows off his “palatial estate” in New Jersey. He’s suffered for his art, and now he ‘s just enjoying life plugging his art books and taking pictures of celebraties, some of whom don’t want to be followed and all of whom deserve it.
The tawdry tale of his “war” with Jackie O is recounted in great detail, and she doesn’t come off all that well. Of course neither does he. But its easy to see why it won an award. And this documentary is the only film at Sundance in which Robert Redford actually appears.
The Documentary Editing Award
Joan Rivers-A Piece Of Work
directed by Ricki Stern and Annie Sundberg
edited by Penelope Falk
Legendary comedian and pop icon Joan Rivers is old. She should be sitting on her lawrels by now, but she’s constitutionally incapable of slowing down, and her bills are huge, what with having to support all her camp followers and all.
So we follow her around for a few months as she goes around the country doing her schtick and discussing the ups and downs of her long, long career. It’s a good documentary, and we she’s someone we can root for.
World Cinema Special Jury Prize: DocumentaryThe use of some old newsreel footage is what makes the film so powerful, as we can recognize that the sweet old man being interviewed really is the monster who was responsible for the deaths of millions. Talk abou the banality of evil! This is a film that hs to be seen, which is why it's going to get on most PBS stations sometime in the fall.
Special Jury Prize: DramaticDean O'Dwyer (Thornton) is a parapalegic homeless person who at one time was a deejay known as “Delicious D”. That career is over and he’s bitter and angry but from his previous life comes Ariel Lee (Lewis), a punk rocker who’s scraping the bottom of the barrel with a band headed by a guy called The Stain (Bloom). Our hero fails again when a miracle happens. He gets the power to heal, and Father Joe (Ruffalo), who’s been tending to the homeless, decides to exploit him in order to do God’s work. Delicious and the punkers decide that his superpower could be profitable to them, and an atheist revival show is started.
Everyone works from his or her basest instincts, nobody is nice, and while the situation is fascinating, there’s no one in the whole film we could really relate to or like. Delicious is an ass; everybody is worse, and the climax and dénouement are completely unbelievable within the conceit of the film. Ruffalo’s experience as an actor makes his directorial style competent enough, but the experience just leaves you cold.
As for the rest... I've listed the winners of the rest of awards -- even though I have not seen them yet.
The World Cinema Jury Prize: Documentary
The Red Chapel (Det Røde Kapel)
directed by Mads Brügger
Denmark
The World Cinema Jury Prize: Dramatic
Animal Kingdom
written and directed by David Michôd
Australia
The Audience Award: Documentary
Waiting For Superman
directed by Davis Guggenheim
The World Cinema Audience Award: Documentary
Wasteland
directed by Lucy Walker
United Kingdom / Brazil
The World Cinema Audience Award: Dramatic
Contracorriente (Undertow)
written and directed by Javier Fuentes-Leõn,
Peru / Colombia / France / Germany
The Directing Award: Dramatic
3 Backyards
directed and written by Eric Mendelsohn
The World Cinema Directing Award: Documentary
Space Tourists
directed by Christian Frei
Switzerland
The World Cinema Directing Award: Dramatic
Southern District
directed and written by Juan Carlos Valdivia
Bolivia
The World Cinema Screenwriting Award
Southern District
[see above]
The Waldo Salt Screenwriting Award
Winter's Bone
The World Cinema Documentary Editing Award
A Film Unfinished
written and directed by Yael Hersonski
Edited by Joëlle Alexis
Germany / Israel
A World Cinema Special Jury Prize: Dramatic for Breakout Performance
Tatiana Maslany for her role in
Grown Up Movie Star
Canada
A Special Jury Prize: Documentary
Gasland
directed by Josh Fox
Alfred P. Sloan Prize
Obselidia
written and directed by Diane Bell
I didn’t see any of the Excellence in Cinematography Award winners either. Sorry.
I was at the Slamdance presentation at the Red Banjo Pizza joint (322 Main St.). It was lots of fun -- think of a low-rent version of the Golden Globes®, where people make boring speeches and the recipients cry with joy as they accept. I’d met a number of them in the green room although I never saw their films (I was at Sundance for most of it), but they let me have all the free pizza and beer I could quaff down, and that’s one of the reasons I went to the damn thing. Of course I thanked them profusely between gulps.
That’s it for the time being. Even with all the notes and such, OD’ing on movies turns one’s brain to mush. It takes at least a week to recover in order to write up any more.
Here’s something novel, I have a three-hour break between screenings. The press screenings are over, and with four public screenings scheduled for tomorrow and none today, it’s back to the wait-list before the Slamdance Awards ceremony.
So while we’re waiting, let’s discuss something that’s very important for anyone who’s a habitué of film festivals. What exactly is an “Independent film” anyway? There are lots of things that have been showing here in Park City that claim to be independent films but aren’t.
You want to know what an independent film really is? Okay. Two guys, Ben Acker and Ben Blacker, received a call from a friend of theirs, a third person who would have his hands on an empty office in New Orleans in a few weeks and $10,000 so could they write a script to utilize it? They got together with their friends Amber Benson and Adam Busch, found a bunch of out-of-work actors to volunteer for a three-day shoot, and wound up with a film called Drones, which is a cross between Star Wars and The Office, and rather funny. Independent funding. No studios, no taxpayer Euros. No nothing.
On the other hand, take the Duplass Brothers’ latest project, Cyrus, for example. There is no way in Hell this is an independent film. It’s being released by FoxSearchlight, features a cast of movie stars, a moderately large budget, and is getting a rather wide release. What’s there that isn’t Hollywood?
The Duplasses started out doing cheap, independent films that had microscopic releases, such as The Puffy Chair back in ’05, but they have graduated into the big time, and while their next attempt might be a tiny little comedy, this most certainly is not. It’s a standard issue Hollywood movie.
Another film that isn’t independent is Sam Taylor Wood’s Nowhere Boy. This early life of John Lennon biopic, produced by the Weinsteins and the British Lottery, and it is most certainly not independent. It was created as part of the British film industry and is being distributed by Icon films, an international “mini-major” outside the US.
There are plenty of documentaries that aren’t independent either. TV stations finance most of them like WBGO or PBS. HBO does a lot of them. RCN Television has financed them or they are produced by some major foreign network, such as Sins of My Father, which was made by the Colombian equivalent of CBS. This is not an independent film. It’s not made in Hollywood, but is an establishment production. There’s nothing wrong with that and it’s an excellent film, but it’s not independent.
Yeah, there are some “independent “films that are basically vanity productions like Mark Ruffalo’s Sympathy for Delicious. It doesn’t have a distributor yet, but a lot of it is done through the Hollywood system… And they’re kicking everyone out of the room.
More later…
Half way through the festival and I’m already bushed. I went to six screenings yesterday, and my mind is already turning to mush. Most of the day was spent at the Holiday Multiplex, where I saw a screening, immediately went back on line and then took in another screening. I think my prostate is allergic to all this and… But I'd better not to go into that.
The Park City transit system is getting the better of me, too. I know that I’ve been focusing on the fact that the buses tend to change routes without notice, but I was listening to other people bitching about the same thing and it’s really nice to know that it’s not just me being paranoid.
The schedule is pretty much the same. Go to the headquarters, then get back to the main venue, get on line, see the film, get back on line, get a seat, grab some grub, then finish another film, and repeat until your brain implodes.
Today was slightly different.
When going to public screenings, there are two ways of getting in: the first is go two hours early and get on a wait-list line, and the second is to go at the last minute and see if there are seats left. I tried the latter twice today, and lucked out. This changed my schedule quite a bit, which is okay.
With only a couple of press screenings left tomorrow, I’m going to be spending more time on the bus than I expected.
The press screenings end tomorrow, which means that I won’t be spending as much time at the Holiday as I have been. I haven’t been to most of the other venues, and I had no idea that the Prospector Square Theater, which is somewhere around Prospector Square, had seating next to the concession stand. This is important! Park City is small in population, but very spread out; it takes forever to get from one place to another, which means lots of time is wasted.