Author Steven J. Immerman Goes "In Search of Pleasure Island" And Takes A Dark Journey

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Parent Category: Film and the Arts

Category: Interviews

Published on Thursday, 25 July 2024 14:13

Written by Brad Balfour

In Steve Immerman’s debut novel “In Search of Pleasure Island,” Dr. Mathew Noble, a professor of criminology and retired special warfare agent, journeys across the globe. He’s in search of his kidnapped daughter and the men responsible for her abduction and murder.

Framed for both crimes, Noble is taken into custody by crooked FBI agents, shot and tossed over a cliff into a raging river. Miraculously Noble survives. Now a fugitive, he lives in the shadows while taking on the most important mission of his life. With his elite military training, and the help of his Delta Force teammates, Noble's search takes him back to his hometown of Philadelphia. He then journeys through the backcountry of West Virginia, across the Atlantic, and on to Paris, Milan, and Lake Como. Eventually he arrives at “Pleasure Island” -- an impenetrable fortress off the Tunisian coast in North Africa. From there, further travails ensue. Delving into the bowels of international sex trafficking, "In Search of Pleasure Island" provides an engrossing summer read.

This story is a far cry from growing up in Northern NJ. While studying economics at Temple University in Philadelphia, Immerman joined the Teamsters, working at a local trucking company. After graduation, he moved to NYC and began a career in advertising and print communications. All the while, he made time to travel the globe to places like Tibet, China, Western Europe, and Central America.

While attending NYU’s school of film and television, Immerman developed a love for writing. Eventually, he made his way to Los Angeles where he represented a number of novelists to the film and TV community. Ultimately, though, he was driven to write and “In Search of Pleasure Island” was born.

In order to explain the evolution of the book, Immerman recently conducted this phone interview.

Q: You were representing authors as an agent, or in what capacity — trying to get them film deals and that kind of thing?

Steven J. Immerman: I was sitting in New York in my apartment and a gentleman walked in named Tony Seidl.He’d been representing published authors and was in the publishing for 40 years, andI was heading out to L.A. So he asked if I would help represent some of his authors to the film community, and that's what we did then.

But first of all, I'll tell you,it wasn’t so easy.Back inthe'80s, I began taking classes at NYU school of continuing education in filmed entertainment. I took various screenwriting courses, and at the end, you [were required] to make a completed script. But the idea of writing my own at the time seemed daunting.

Then I met Tony, and so, what the heck? I started representing other authors and it was great. Maybe I'm just a good communicator, but I got to touch base with a lot of high-level producers and heads of production. We sold a few different projects, some to Turner for westerns,some of Warren Murphy's books including “Forever King” and we were peddling his book series “The Destroyer.”

Anyway, that ended. I went back to my real life. Even back then, I wrote some short stories. I always had this love for telling stories, but I didn't love trying to get a screenplay up in Hollywood. I saw what went on. Ultimately, I said that I'm going to write my own stories, and by writing a novel, I can control what it is. There were a few ideas I had. To tell you the truth, the genesis of this book, "In Search of Pleasure Island," came out of two interesting things.

I've always been involved with young people, concerned about abuse, and the whole thing is that the more I understood, it became fascinating in a negative way. Anyway, my imagination started getting the best of me. Then, I started doing some research and reading about Jeffrey Epstein at the time, and one thing led to another. I said, "This is the one I want to write.” Something came to me and this became my first novel.

Q: Your character's a criminology professor, so you have to get into specifics. He's a pretty detail-oriented guy. That must have taken a lot of time so how long was the research?

Steven J. Immerman:It was a lot of research. I based one character “Dutch” on two men that I knew. One was an ex-special warfare operator andamercenary for hire; the other, a former green beret and worked in elite security.That was pretty easy for me because I had known both of these gentlemenprior.The criminology thing absolutely took research.I started doing more and more research about human trafficking and criminology. And this character, Matthew Noble, came about. I have twins, a boy and a girl, who are now in their mid-'20s. So I saw that relationship between father and daughter, and it all came about.

Q: Besides the people you just described, have you met anybody that has been through a trafficking experience, was a trafficker, or anything like that? Did you try to meet someone or did you want to keep a distance and just read things about them?

Steven J. Immerman: This was really done through research, by being organized.For a while, I was a Big Brother at Covenant House.So many kids come from broken homes. They're out on the streets, being hustled by pimps and traffickers. Basically, Covenant House is a refuge. So I got to know, personally, young people. And when I say young, their ages were probably from the 15 to 19 year old range. These kids are on the streets right here in L.A.

Prior to that, when I was in New York, I did work with the Police Athletic League. I spent time there too, and got to see all these young people and their concerns. As a parent, obviously, seeing everythinggoing on, I fear formy own kids and life in general. Maybe it's always been something close in mind for me. When I worked at Covenant House and PAL, I was single, but it's always been something that I've been interested in.Well, not really children, but young people.

Q: Did you find that it flowed naturally and you didn't have to think about all those things?

Steven J. Immerman: It was highly structured.After I wrote my first draft I reached out to my agent Tony Seidl. I showed it to him and he helped me to structure the draft.He really went back and restructuredit.He decided to bring in a buddy who was Dutch,a second partner in it,and reformatted the book. It took a few drafts, and yes, we worked on a structured timeline.

Q: How much balance did you feel you needed to strike between action and exposition?

Steven J. Immerman: That was tough, because what I didn't want to do was only one or the other.I didn’t want just a straight line men’s action book. I also wanted to show the courage of the young woman “Danni” and her struggles as well.I ground out most of my training.I also tried to keep the action, and that really drives the story forward.

Q: When you wrote this, did you see it as a movie? Did you have cinematic ideas along the way and view the scene structures as if there were a camera there.

Steven J. Immerman: It's interesting you say that. I see it in my mind. But if I write as if it were a TV series or movie, that would be hard. I don't know if it would make a good motion picture or not, but I think it would make a great streaming series. There are so many different sections to it. First, there's the development, and the first half is really more of the hunt. The second, the chase. The action gets more and more intense until we have that big scenario. Yes, and then his whole family got into this chaos and this terrible situation. He falls deeper and deeper into the rabbit hole after his wife is killed and his daughter is taken. Then, he's thrown over the cliff and barely survives. Now he must try andsave his daughter.He has a military background and is a criminologist, andyet can't even save his own daughter.

Q: Were you worried about comparisons to the Liam Neeson-led film "Taken?"

Steven J. Immerman: I saw "Taken."This could be "Taken," but I believe there is more in my story; you see it is her journey too --you don't just see it from his perspective. Here, she is taken to the“FARM,”a place where victims are held captive. There, she meets another young girl named Snowand it's their journey just as much. It's very different in that aspect. In "Taken," they quickly established who he was and why they took his daughter, and then, Boom! — it had all the complications, the twists and turns. Whereas in a novel, you have the luxury of being able to really add a lot more in.There's so much about Danni that creates the suspense, like when she is taken to the “FARM.”We see it's almost a rebirth where she's forced out of the womb and becomes a new person.

Here she is this young 16-year-old who grew up adopted from China. She's Eurasian, grows up in privilege, and then her world is snatched away from her. She has tofind andfigure out how she's going to survive. Here she is thrown into this‘hell hole’ I gave her a hint,and she's got to overcome death. She's got to figure out how to live in this new world and survive and succeed. When she does, she finds a way.She meets Snow, and shebecomes a hero. When she saves Snow, they run away. Then, they're caught again and sent over to Europe, and are separated. She's forced into this brothel. She has to survive, and finds a way to survive. She goes through some very traumatic situations. In the end,Noble and Dutch come and rescue her— I hope that’s not a spoiler.Then, the story continues.

Q: When you were writing this, did you have an image of the characters in your mind, like actors or in a graphic novel?

Steven J. Immerman: I've often thought ofjustdoing this as a graphic novel, which, in some ways, is more difficult because you can write the words and not necessarily have an image in mind. Of course, I have images in mind. I see the characters —Danni obviously isa tall, athletic,16/17-year-old girl. There's many 40-some-odd actors who could play Noble. Is it Matt Damon? I had a list of people, actually, that I thought of at one time. Dutch... I don't know if Stallone is the right age at this point, but Dutch is a no-holds-barred, grisly, tough individual. I picture him as,maybe,a combination of the men that I modeled him after --a thick-wristed, bulky, muscular, tough SOB.You know, a warfare operator, ex-commando. Noble is smoother, more educated, but still has that grit — more of an everyman. He could be six-foot but it doesn't matter so much. He's medium build with a nice smile — a good guy.At the same time, he's a surprise. He can be lethal as well, like in the very beginning of the book when he saves the head of Shin Bet’s granddaughter.

In the prologue, that's Noblesaving the granddaughter; that's really what it was. Some people catch it, some don't. That's the granddaughter ofEron Feldner, director of Israel’s Shin Bet.And that's why, later on he gets the help.I say in the book, Feldnernever forgot that Noble saved his grand daughter. He's here to help. And then, he sends Dutch to help.Noble and Dutch have a relationship with each other. That's important, too, because there's a certain chemistry that's built in. Actually, the backstory is that Dutch kicked Noble out of the service because Noble broke command, and that's shown in these dream sequences. They come together and work out their differences, and obviously go together. In that way, it's also different from, say, "Taken."

In terms of marketing, yes, we're putting time in to try to get people to pick it up.I hear from peoplewho have read it and have reached out to me, it's a fun read. It's easy. It's almost like watching a movie or a series. It's not highbrow. It's meant to be enjoyable, but also to deliver a message.

Q: Now that you've got the book out, are you looking to develop a series? Or looking towards seeing this book get into other media, whether as a graphic novel or being produced for a streaming service?

Steven J. Immerman: I'd love to see this story getoutto a wider audience through a streaming service. I don't want to give away a spoiler but yes, there's a sequel. And yes, it involves some of the main characters, of course, moving forward.

Q: Do you feel torn between working on this book as a professional media person, or writing the next book? In other words, are you taking one step? A lot of times, for a filmmaker or a novelist is to get the book out there, it’s also work, doing the tours, all that stuff. Other ones just want to get back down to doing the next book.

Steven J. Immerman: I'm working on a new story as well, a historical novel I call "Return to Zion.” It’s about a Jewish family at the turn of the 19th century, starting at the beginning of the Soviet era. It actually goes back into the Tsarist Empire in the late 1800s, early 1900s. It takes us all the way to the founding of the State of Israel, following this generational family's journey.I also am developing an outline to continue to create the next step in the series of of Pleasure Island.

Q: You're exploring your Jewish background. Is that something you've always done? It’s been in there as to who you are?

Steven J. Immerman: The story I'm working on next comes out of my dad’s stories about his father, my grandfather coming from Russia and my father’s stories he told about World War II.His father passed away when he was very young and he would tell me stories. I come from a Jewish family in Teaneck, New Jersey.

Q: They're from Russia, right?

Steven J. Immerman:Yes. He would tell me stories about his father -- my grandfather and his life in Russia and coming to America.Then there were stories I heard when working with my father. I got into a bit of trouble when I was about 17. My dad took me down to the Union Hall, Teamsters 560 in New Jersey, and said, "You're going to see what life is like." I got into the Teamsters, it paid well,I loaded and unloaded trucks, did whatever wehad to do.

I got to spend time with my dad, aboutfour or five years of working, and it helped me pay for college.I heard a lot of stories about my dad and my history. Iwas learning about Jews coming from Russia, actually Ukraine. My grand father was Georgian, but some of the family was from the Ukraine. I am weaving together a story. I'm working on it now, but I don't want to get too far into that.

To order the book go to: https://nextchapter.pub/authors/steven-immerman

As Host of “The Traitors,” Multi-talented Alan Cumming Brings a New Flamboyance to The Peacock Network’s Hit Reality Game Show

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Parent Category: Film and the Arts

Category: Interviews

Published on Monday, 22 July 2024 15:13

Written by Brad Balfour

Not one to watch reality TV, I didn’t really get what “The Traitors” (the US version) was all about. But since it was hosted by Alan Cumming, the gender fluid actor/artist, I was intrigued to hear him speak about the show. He’s the host of the reality game show which is based on “De Verraders,” the Dutch show created by Marc Pos and Jasper Hoogendoorn.

Having completed two seasons, the offbeat American version features Cumming in flamboyant costumes making grand gestures and arch pronouncements as contestants in the game move into a majestic castle. As a result, Cumming has garnered an Emmy nom for Outstanding Host for A Reality or Reality Competition Program (“The Traitors”). This further enhances the show’s impact — but hopefully positive results will be in when the 75th edition of The Emmys airs September 15th on ABC.

The contestants work as a team to complete a series of dramatic and challenging missions. All of this to earn money for the prize pot. Some contestants are loyal, some are traitors — all of them established characters from other reality series.

Cumming —born on January 27, 1965, in Aberfeldy, Scotland—has had a long and distinguished career. He’s done everything from editing pop magazines, a cabaret show, dramatic TV series, various stage versions of Shakespeare’s plays and many starring roles in award-winning films. And, according to IMDB.com, "he’s able to flawlessly change his voice and appearance for each role."

Now as he tackles “The Traitors” reality show, as both host and a producer, Cumming creates a new icon to connect to the LGBTQ community. At a recent screening of an episode, he spoke about this series just in time for Pride Month and preceding the Emmy nominations.

Q: Alan Cumming, what makes you such an incredibly fun host to watch is that, unlike a lot of other reality shows, you really get into character. You become part of the cast in so many ways. What were your thought processes in coming into the show and figuring out how to play the role that you do within “Traitors”?

Alan Cumming: When they first talked to me about it, this was unlike anything I've ever done before. I couldn't quite understand why they'd ask me but it sort of sounded fun. My agent said, "Oh, there's some show in a castle and they want you to do it." I took the meeting and realized they wanted me to, in a way, subvert the form of hosting a show like this by playing that sort of character. Everyone does a version of themselves when they host something that’s not very true. But in this [case], it was actually a version of me and it's a very sort of down-to-east Scottish layout. [My dog] Lala wasn't allowed to come the first time because of her papers, or COVID or something. But I said, “Oh, I should take my dog and pet her like a James Bond villain.” I thought of it, and I still think of it as a character that I play who happens to be hosting all these people in this castle, which happens to be being filmed for American TV. 

Q: What makes the character so interesting is that for long-time fans of reality shows, you have a lot of personalities who are binary in nature and larger-than-life. That is why we watch them year after year, characters like C.T. and Adra, who have been on American television for decades. You somehow manage to out-character them in many ways. It's like navigating a lot of those personalities while playing that character.

Alan Cumming: In a way, it's because they have characters and they all come with their shtick. That's what's so interesting about doing it. The first series was comprised of half-real and half-reality people. Definitely, the people who are used to the camera and have an inbuilt persona already, they play themselves very well and understand the role they have to do. Then they're thrown into this thing where everything's sort of destabilizing for them. I just guide them into situations that hopefully, will destabilize them even more. That's what's fun about it. Everyone has a character in a way. 

I think we're used to C.T. or Phaedra or people we've known for years. We understand their characters. We're now associates getting to know my character in it. I'm sort of the stern daddy of it all. It's interesting to play that role and also, to try to keep some distance from them — the cast — on set. I don't talk to them or do takes. I don't engage with them in a chummy sort of way like you might in a normal [situation] when there's other cast members. I very much think it's important that I have authority. They're kind of scared of me. Then, of course, now, after it's all done, I can be like a normal person with them. I think you find that really overwhelming. They all came to my bar as it was when they were here earlier in the year doing the press thing. It was so hilarious. It was like them seeing Father Christmas having a drink or something.

Q: That's the sign of a good host — that they’re scared of you. 

Alan Cumming: They should be scared of me because I've got to reprimand them sometimes. There's a lot of things, obviously, that are captured in the show that I've got in those situations where I've really got to intervene. My word is law. It's great fun. Clearly, I’m a terrifying figure, but I don't think I'm scary. Also, I don't take any shit. I know how to play a scary person. I'm fair but firm in real life. 

Q: Part of what makes “The Traitors” so unique is that in so many other reality shows, both competition and lifestyle, there's no real setting other than the competition. You go to “Survivor Island” and do this thing. Or, if you look at “Real Housewives,” it is their real-life kind of, from time to time. Here, you have this beautiful gothic backdrop. A lot of the events, whether it’s the funeral or going to a cemetery, feels very theatrical — and creepy. We're almost subverting the narrative of what this type of show format really is while also being [true] to the format. 

Alan Cumming: What I think is liberating is the theatricality of it. Everyone in television is very scared of theatricality. If you ever try to pitch a show to a TV executive, the word “theater” or “theatrical” is poison to them. It's very liberating that theatricality is in its very DNA. It's gothic and camp in the true sense of the term. American people sometimes don't have the same understanding of what camp means to British people. What we're doing on the trade is camp. There's a sort of annoyingness to it, an archness of theatricality, and a winking at the audience all the time about what it is. 

There's me in those insane costumes in this castle saying, "Welcome to my castle." We're bringing all these nutty personalities out of their comfort zones and then making them do insane things and pitting them against each other. It's so amped up already in a sort of gothic [manner] of what it's trying to do. The core of it is just a game. All those shows – as I've discovered now in my crash course in reality competition television over the last couple of years – are basically the same. 

"Survivor" is the same as "RuPaul's Drag Race" is the same as "The Chef" one. They're all people doing things and then slowly one person gets put out and then they have to hold. Then there's intrigue. Basically, it's just like schoolyard games of pushing one person out until it's just the next thing. In a way, what's good about this is that that's all it is. But it's got all these psychological layers that I think people underestimate. Also, you're in a castle and they're maddened, these contestants, because they're not allowed to pick up their phones. They're not allowed to talk to each other. All they think about from morning to night is the show and the game. And they go nuts. It's great. 

Q: We mentioned something, this idea of camp in the British sense of the term. Not necessarily what we think of it as evidenced by the Met Gala themes.

Alan Cumming: The theme was a good idea. People just didn’t understand it.

Q: "The Traitors" has a British counterpart. There was a version of this before the U.S. version. What's your take on what had to change within the format for a different audience, or if there had to be any changes, because television has become so much more globalized? Audiences are more open and receptive to different types of formats of television and different types of humor. 

Alan Cumming: I don't really know how to answer that question. I saw some of the first season of the British one. It's not as camp and theatrical as ours. I think this is probably the first time in television history that an American version of the show is more camp and theatrical than the British one. I think that's me, in my opinion. But I feel like, in a funny way, we were able to have more leeway in that department. That's partly down to the costumes and Sam Spector, the stylist — he and I had an idea of the character I wanted to play. 

[The British host] Claudia Winkelman has such a lovely personality and a lovely way in which she deals with people. They have real people, as well. They don't have celebrities. It's all a bit toned down and quite British. Whereas we were able — partly because it was a new show and partly because of the costume thing and me being this character — we've amped it up. It's got this higher level of theatricality built into it. I think sometimes other countries try to do that. But I don't think they're quite as nuts as we are. I know that now there's something someone said, “Claudia does your thing when she throws a picture on the floor now.” I was like, “Yes, you bitch, throw away my little picture.” But it's kind of funny. Sometimes I see little clips of people from other countries’ versions. It's like, “Oh, it seems like it's sort of a fever dream.” You know vaguely what they're talking about, but the circumstances are all different. 

Q: Going to the opposite of toned down, your outfits on the show are probably some of the best parts of it. They somehow get even more fabulous and glamorous every episode.  How involved are you with choosing the outfits versus someone else? 

Alan Cumming: Well, very involved. I talk to Sam all the time. especially in the first season, because I said I wanted to be this dandy Scottish laird. You know what a laird means? It's like lord in a Scottish accent, a Scottish dandy, sort of an aristocratic gent. To me, that means a lot of tartan, a lot of cloaks might be featured, things like that. I went to him with that idea and those sorts of things. Then he ran with it. We go back and forward. Then the second season, we were able to amp it up a bit. He themed the missions with my clothes. There's one with birds. I just have a funny big peacock on my hat and stuff like that. For the next one, I'm about to go and do it again. It's amped up again, more about layering things. 

I have this great relationship with him. We text all the time. He sends some stuff to me, just ideas and things to improve. I think we're going more and more and bigger and bigger. I think surely they're going to stop us soon. But one thing I really do like about it is that — in terms of if we think about what's happening in America and the way that trans people and non-binary people are facing lots of hatred and challenges — me, in this show as a middle-aged man, I’m being quite femmy and wearing a lot of practically feminine female clothes. What's really interesting is to be able to do that in a mainstream way, and challenge people's perceptions of what male and female is, and maybe be a bit in the middle. 

Hopefully, when the audience sees someone in the street who's non-binary or non-gender conforming, they won't be as shocked or horrified. They'll see me in a sort of a fanny dress and a cloak the night before. That's a really positive, accidental thing that's come out of this sort of theatricality of the costumes. One of the things that didn't make it is … I saw it today in my dressing room in my house because I was doing a fitting for some little film I'm doing. I opened this cupboard in the last episode of the last season. It was all on this big ship, which was another story because we had a hideous storm and it was like "Triangle of Sadness." It really was. I was vomiting into a metal bowl. I'll never forget it. Thank you. And bon appetit. But there was a funny little hat that had a little galleon on it with sails. It was hilarious. It was sort of this Tracy-esque sort of thing. Absolutely bonkers. So impractical and nuts. It was on theme for the thing. But it was so windy that day that it kept falling off my head. Now I have it as a little memory. 

Q: As hosts, you are effectively the audience of the show. We're seeing a lot of the things that you're seeing and your commentary throughout the challenges is both biting and reflective of how we're thinking. One of the themes that emerges in this episode you all saw as well leads up to this idea with these contestants, of gamers, those who have been on competitive reality shows and the non-gamers — what they refer to as the bravo, basically anyone that sits up and has fancy wine as part of their show. Is there a core advantage to one side or the other?

Alan Cumming: No, it was the funeral episode. The funeral. Yeah, hilarious. But I just love that because I liked it. As the series went on, they showed me more of me laughing. Obviously, it's Pedro falling in the water. I just loved seeing how he's always getting wet.

Q: Who doesn't? 

Alan Cumming: Who doesn't? But the thing I think about that, I thought was really interesting about the second season — this truly has been a crash course for me — I'm really at the center of it and I can experience it. I feel that a lot of people said that, “Oh, the gamers, they know how to do this, the survivors, the big brothers, the CT did.” The challenge, yeah. The perception is they are devious and they know how to do this game, whereas the outsiders are, oh, you know.

That's not true. It was proven wrong in this season because — like, who was the one who worked it all out, kind of blew it in his execution of it — was the cutie little bachelor, Rafaela Peet. So, you know, the other non-gamer. That to me was really exciting because I loved when our sort of perception about the game was just smashed. And although I guess two gamers did win, but, you know … it didn't necessarily mean it was because of their game win. It's that somebody had to win. I think it's really interesting. It's a much more level playing field. Also, it's a game of chance. You're a traitor because I tap you on the shoulder.  

That's why I loved it when, a couple of weeks in, they're going mental. They're like, “I could never be a traitor.” I go, “You would if I tapped you on the shoulder.” That's why the show is so good. It really screws with people's minds, with the psychological, and the hurt and guilt that people get as well. The guilt [comes from] lying to your friends and everything. It's layer upon layer of awfulness. Having seen people in physical distress, it's always hilarious. 

Q: In the first episode of this [season], as you're walking around, you're going to pick the traitors. You do it a few times, and there's conversation afterwards amongst the cast members about the sound of your jacket rustling as you lift an arm. Or your footsteps and the sound of breathing happening. How did you approach that moment of, "I need to make this as secretive as possible?"

Alan Cumming: It was absolutely the most terrifying part of the whole thing. I could fuck it up immensely in one fell swoop if they heard me or something. There were more of them this year. I do all sorts of things. The first year, we filmed a thing where I touched every single person. We've got the close-up of my hand going on the thing. We filmed that first. They've got an idea of what it feels like to be touched. Then we go round and round and round and round. In terms of the rustling, I would do this. Right in front of their ears. It's so fun.  

I really enjoy it; it's the scariest part because I have a thing in my ear all the time. I can hear in the control room. When we're inside the castle, they're all in the control room, which is like NASA. It really is insane.  I could feel the tension because it was the first thing of the show. Obviously, it's very tense in the room. When you're blindfolded, your other senses get much more aware. So it's really, really scary. I'm trying to get in and just do it without touching anything.

I was just talking with Sam, the stylist, this week about what I was going to wear for that bit. Of course, there were things on my lapels. I thought that would be terrible if you heard them. You have to be really conscious of stuff like that. It's because everyone's senses are so heightened. But it is exciting and terrifying. 

Q: Out of all of your friends or celebrities that you know, who do you think would be great on a season of “The Traitors?” And, what would you have more fun with? Or which role would you think would be better — a traitor or a faithful?

Alan Cumming: I would like to be a traitor. I think everybody would like to be a traitor. It's just getting to go to the turret late at night and think who you're going to kill. I just think it's such fun. They get extra snacks when they go to the turret sometimes. But I don't know. Some people really don't want to be like that. That's why we do this thing now when I interview them. It's just hilarious. Lala and I are sitting there, and they come in one at a time, and they're really terrified. Some people are adamant they don't want to be a traitor. 

Of course, that's actually quite a good idea to make them a traitor when they're doing that. That's what I love about the game, is all these weird, confounding things you can do. Some people very much do think, well, you're not going to. It's actually really interesting, the mix of people that we choose for the show is all based on a lot of factors. But in terms of people that I know, we were just talking about her actually. 

I think Martha Stewart would be so good at it. She's so bossy and sort of strategic and so accomplished and everything. She would make that raft. She would get that catapult going. And, also, I just think she would be at home in a castle. So there's people like that. But I love those people who come on the show. I don't know who they are.

Author/Speaker David Rabadi Helps The World be More Aware of Mental Health Issues Prompted by Repressed Sexuality

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Parent Category: Film and the Arts

Category: Interviews

Published on Monday, 10 June 2024 13:52

Written by Brad Balfour

After David Rabadi was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder – previously known as “manic depressive” illness — he followed a long path to coping with his illness. Not easily understood by most, the condition prompts swings from deep depression to an abnormally elevated mood.

Though Rabadi’s childhood was filled with joyful memories — house parties, family outings and dinners — he was a curious kid who loved Arabic music and belly dancing. He picked up the dancing from his cousin, Suhair, who was his babysitter. But when he was four, he accidentally caught a family friend who was secretly masturbating. The man then shoved his erect penis into the young boy’s mouth and threatened to kill him. 
 
A few years later, at seven, he had another traumatic experience when his aunt Josephine passed away from breast cancer. His dad decided that he had to go to her funeral. There, with her body was in the casket, Rabadi’s father told him to “Go kiss her goodbye!” Given no choice, the boy walked up close to his aunt and kissed her forehead. Then, terrified, he quickly ran outside. Throughout the lad’s entire childhood, he spent much more time with females. He was a boy who liked playing with dolls and wearing his mother’s clothes. Even then, he knew that he was somehow different. 
 
Once, at a special family party with a professional singer, a cousin grabbed Rabadi’s arm and moved him to the center of the room. “Dance!” she said, and everyone applauded as the boy happily followed the instruction. But another male relative said in a harsh tone, “You dance like a girl. You’re a faggot!” The young boy didn’t even know what a “faggot” was but he knew his cousin was right: he danced in a different way from the other men and boys. From that moment on, he never wanted to dance in front of a crowd. And if he did, he tried his best not to “dance like a girl.”

During this PrideMonth, it’s important to consider the mental health issues prompted by denying one’s own sexuality.

Today, Rabadi is an inspirational speaker — a result of learning how to manage his disease and sexuality. He addresses diverse audiences, ranging from high school and college students to business professionals and mental health experts. In his talks, he stresses the importance for each of us of being honest with ourselves by facing our realities. 
 
As Rabadi tells his listeners, “Accepting one’s reality is crucial to living a life that’s happier, healthier, more satisfying and productive.” This is further highlighted in his book, “Live Your Truth: Live To Be Yourself or Die As Someone Else” which came out a few years ago. It describes his struggle with a bi-polar condition that emerged as he confronted being gay in a world which condemned his gayness.
 
Rabadi’s path to this enlightenment didn’t come easily. His own self-healing involved accepting his truth that he is gay. Instead of denying this mental and emotional reality, this encouraging speaker now acknowledges and embraces it. To quote from a speech of his, “My message to each of you is, don’t feel shame for who you are. For example, if you discover that you have some mental illness, don’t be embarrassed to ask for help. Or if you’re struggling with sexuality, give yourself permission to discover your own reality. 
 
“You’ll make wiser decisions if you don’t automatically judge but actually listen to your authentic self. Then, after acknowledging our truths, we can start to discover the approaches — even medicines, if appropriate — that will allow us to live and enjoy our lives to the fullest.” 
 
When this Arab American’s parents came from Jordan, they brought along two older brothers and a sister. Born in Yonkers, New York, the child became a first generation Arab American along with his younger brother John. His father was an example of a strong work ethic and a willingness to do whatever was needed. He worked two jobs, one in a factory and the other as a cab driver while his mother stayed home to raise the kids.

As Rabadi became a teenager, he realized that he was indeed attracted to other males. Being a teenager is challenging for anyone, but being a closeted Arab-American is even harder. Homosexual acts are forbidden in traditional Islamic cultures, sometimes punishable by death. Jordan and Bahrain are the only Arab countries where homosexuality is legal. 
 
Even so, most LGBTQ people in Jordan face social discrimination. Until 2013, it was even legal there to kill a homosexual in a so-called “honor killing.” Today, Rabadi accepts his reality as a gay Arab-American. He no longer feels embarrassed for having Bipolar One disorder. Instead, he now functions effectively, and publicly, as a published author and journalist. Having learned the positive value of accepting himself, he now actively spreads this awareness as an inspirational speaker for a wide range of audiences, from students to adults, Arabs and Americans and many more.
 
Q: How old were you when you first realized you were gay? Describe the moment you realized it and how did you feel?
 
David Rabadi: I was seven years old when I realized I liked boys. I had a friend that was the same age and one day we were in his room and he asked me if I wanted to see what he saw his older brother do with a girl. I said ok. He told me to lay on the bed and then he got on top of me and started humping me. I felt a sensation in my stomach and I immediately liked the feeling. At the time, I didn’t know that it meant I was gay. As I grew older, I learned that I was gay but kept it to myself because I was told that it was against God’s word and I would go to Hell. 
 
Q: Once you understood it, how long did it take to develop relationships?
 
David Rabadi: Once I understood that I was gay, it was very difficult for me to form relationships with boys because I’m Middle Eastern. In our culture it was the deepest point of shame and dishonor. Gay people in the Middle East are put in jail and even killed. I had a lot of fear so I suppressed my sexuality for a long time. I did engage with gay sex but never had a boyfriend. 
 
Q: Given this revelation, how did it impact on your bipolar condition. I assume it had expressed itself as you went through your teen years. Describe when you realized you needed therapy/medication?
 
David Rabadi: I believe because I was suppressing my sexuality, it manifested as Bipolar disorder. I firmly believe you can brush anything off your shoulders but all that’s doing is changing its location. It wasn’t until I was 30 years old that I was diagnosed with “Bipolar One.” Before that I experienced shifts in my mood, but I thought it was normal and that everyone experiences it. I was very productive. I graduated college with my BA in theater and communication. I worked full time. I thought I was perfectly fine except for my denial of my sexuality. 
 
Q: When did you start your book? Was it a result of speaking out or did it come first?
 
David Rabadi: I started writing my book after I came out as gay and was diagnosed as Bipolar. It took me eight years to write my book. I had to become comfortable in sharing my personal experiences and the trauma endured. 
 
Q: What did you feel the book needed to include to be inspirational?
 
David Rabadi: It was important to me to share my story so I could be a person that faced adversity and triumph. I am the first Jordanian to come out as gay in the Arab community in Yonkers. I know I’m not alone. I’ve met other gay Arabs who are still scared to come out and they tell me I am an inspiration. And in regards to sharing I have bipolar, there is a big stigma when it comes to mental illness. I’m on a mission to make mental illness look so good everyone wants it. It’s time to live our truth and not be embarrassed or feel shame for who we are and what we struggle with.
 
Q: Describe your talks and what’s happening on that front?
 
David Rabadi: I go around to different universities and organizations and share my story. I ask the audience in every talk I give, “Do you want to live to be yourself or die as someone else?” Life is precious and we only live once. So do what makes you happy. And know that living your truth is the biggest gift you can give yourself.
 
Q: How do you keep the bipolar condition under control nowadays after your revelations?
 
David Rabadi: I have learned to keep my bipolar disorder under control. I have to take my medication every day. I have to exercise to build endorphins. I see a therapist every two weeks and it’s a great way to keep things in perspective for me. 
 
Rabadi is represented by the All American Entertainment (AAE) speakers bureau:

https://www.allamericanentertainment.com/

Video sample of Rabadi’s message:

https://youtu.be/AanDuF21ur0?si=yoLXvrv-FmoIxUsy